Magical Animal Heist

You're an animal gifted with human smarts by a powerful and downright nasty fairy godmother. Why? To pull off a daring heist at her command. 

This is a one‑page RPG of Australian animals, dirty tricks and magical chaos. 

Your first conscious thought is: "Those are some bloody mean boots, and those legs don't look too friendly neither."

You're in a ramshackle bush hut. The tin roof rattles in the dry breeze. Bundles of dried herbs and caged bush creatures hang from the walls. Towering before you stands something stuck between human and the land itself. Iron-studded boots seem grown from the red earth, thick legs hidden by a long duster coat, gone grey with age and dust, topped with a cork-brimmed hat.

A voice rolls out, deep as a thunderstorm over dry hills. "Name's Auntie Corkhat." they rumble. "I gave you your smarts and I can take 'em right back. So listen close." They lean in, eyes glowing like hot coals: "There's a little job I need doing. See, my sister, the Goodie-Goodie Fairy Godmother, she's running her own caper tonight. You're gonna ruin it. Do it right, and you stay smart. Stuff it up, bring her eye down on you, or fail to get back by sunset tomorrow..." Auntie Corkhat grins way too wide "I'll sop up your innards with my damper."